How to Handle Your Partner’s Opposite Sex Friends

When it comes to allowing your partner to have friends of the opposite sex, a lot of things come into mind. If there are things that would surely be put into question, it would have to be loyalty and trust. Often this is a problem for couples. But realistically can you blame them?

For one, the fact of potential threat/s depending on the closeness is there. Should there be problems in the relationship, who knows if the other one would not take advantage? It is possible no matter how much you trust the friend or your partner.

Just in case, here are some thing to look out for thanks to Sharon M. Rivkin of Hitched:

Don’ts

• No secrets! All parties should know each other and know about the friendship. If anything should change in the friendship, your partner needs to know.
• Time spent with the friend should never supersede time spent with your partner, unless there is a dire emergency.
• Never make an agreement that can’t be changed. The agreement should always be negotiable, so that if thefriendship isn’t working for your partner, it can always be modified or cancelled.
• Never make your partner feel that he/she isn’t the most important relationship to you. This is basically uncharted territory, so be aware and sensitive of your partner’s feelings.
• Never put your friend’s needs first. By keeping your partner as your number-one priority, the mystery surrounding the friendship diminishes, and your partner will more likely view the friend as a real person and not just a fantasy.

Do’s

• To ensure comfort and trust, there needs to be a high level of maturity and self-esteem with all involved. Evaluate this with your partner and really talk about everyone’s concerns and fears.
• Ground rules need to be established from the beginning, i.e., what’s okay and what’s not for all the people involved. For instance, is it okay for the friends to get together when the partner is out of town? How much time is spent with the friend on a monthly basis? What do the friends do together? Is dancing okay? Is dinner okay? Each couple will have their own individual concerns and questions to consider.
• Everyone needs to be in agreement that it’s okay for the friendship to take place. No one should be left out of the process.
• The person having the friendship needs to have strong, clear personal boundaries and open communication with their partner and their friend. They need to be up front at all times with their partner, letting him/her know when they’re seeing their friend.
• If the partner ever feels uncomfortable with the arrangement, he/she can speak up at any time. Their feelings and concerns need to be considered and taken seriously.

In theory, most couples want their partners to be happy and to have friends of the opposite sex. In reality, this can only happen by following ground rules. The main issues surrounding these friendships are usually jealousy and physical intimacy. If you can talk about your friend freely and make him/her a real person to your partner, there is less likelihood of these types of problems occurring.

Keep the lines of communication open at all times with everyone involved. Be honest with yourself about your ability to have good boundaries, and clarity about what is appropriate in a friendship and your relationship. There are differences. As long as everything is out in the open and with appropriate ground rules, friendships with the opposite sex are possible.

Via Yahoo Personals

Related posts:

1. Can Best Friends Be Dream Partners?
2. Friendship before Relationship
3. Friendship with Your Former Partner
4. Baby Talk – How To Handle It
5. Relationships are about giving and receiving